One of my favorite comedians, John Mulaney, has a great bit about the difference between kids and adults. It goes something like this:
Ask a kid what they did over the weekend: “Awww, we didn’t do anything!” *pouty face*
Ask an adult the same question: “Ahhh, we didn’t do anything!” *happy face*
As an adult, is there anything more satisfying than canceled plans? If there is, I haven’t found it.
What is a top complaint among grown people in the modern world? Too much to do, not enough time.
And when people get busy (myself included), diet is one of the first things to fall by the wayside. We reach for what is fast and convenient, which our industrial food sector is more than happy to supply. Continue reading “Have it Your Way”
Substitutes get a bad name. When I was a kid, there was a substitute teacher at my elementary school that all the kids hated. Her name was Mrs. Smith, but everyone called her Mrs. Fishlips. Because, well, she was quite unattractive and had a mouth that closely resembled a fish. Sometimes the material presents itself.
I was terrified of Mrs. Fishlips. She was mean, and she yelled. Whenever I walked into my classroom and saw her, I was instantly sick with anxiety. Physically ill, and on the verge of tears until the clock mercifully struck 3:30.
I didn’t want Mrs. Fishlips. I wanted my teacher. She was a poor substitute for the real thing.
I have a similar relationship with food. Continue reading “Redeeming Substitutes”
I love coffee. And I’m a coffee snob. Like Goldilocks, it has to be “just right.”
But I had a problem. Every form in which I consumed coffee was loaded with sugar.
I was a late bloomer when it came to coffee; I didn’t start drinking it until my late twenties. Starbucks frappuccinos were my gateway drug. Then I discovered a magical potion that transformed the bitter black brew into sensory bliss: flavored coffee creamer. Continue reading “Leaving Precious”