To recap where we left off last week in our stroll down memory lane… As a child, I had already fallen into a vicious cycle that only worsened as I grew older:
I had natural biomechanical mobility issues exacerbated by weight gain (and probably severe inflammation from a high sugar diet). Physical activity was uncomfortable and associated with ever-elusive weight loss. Trying to do something I wasn’t good at made me feel even worse about myself. So I avoided most physical activity, which further contributed to weak muscles, stiff joints, and continued weight gain. I ate to comfort myself but felt intense shame for doing so (and was often shamed by the adults in my life when caught with the foods I loved), leading to secretive binge eating.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how I wound up a morbidly obese, yo-yo dieting, exercise-hating adult so stiff and inflamed that I could not do one proper squat when I walked through the doors of Ludus Magnus.
I promise, I do have a point in sharing all this beyond self-obsessed navel gazing. I don’t think my experience is that unique; sadly, I think it is all-too common.
I felt like a prisoner to these early established patterns for decades. I couldn’t simply wish them away or extract myself from them overnight. It has been a long, slow process of action: changing one thing at a time, making it a habit and enjoying some success with it, and then changing the next thing.
It’s been a month since my last blog post. My goal is to publish at least twice per month, but in the past few weeks I’ve had some unexpected (and upsetting) change come my way. I sat down to write a few times, but I just didn’t have it in me.
But today I’m grateful to be back doing what I love, and I’m returning with a message of hope for anyone who has ever struggled with emotional eating.
I have logged into MyFitnessPal for 660 days in a row. That’s 1 year, 9 months, and 19 days.
For the uninitiated, MyFitnessPal is a free app that tracks daily food intake. It’s more than just a calorie counter. It tracks fat, protein, carbohydrates, fiber, vitamin c, iron, potassium, and several other key nutrients. It is a crowd-sourced program, with every food you can imagine already entered into the database. Just search and select the appropriate entry from the huge list of results. If by chance you have a food that isn’t already in the system, you can add it yourself. You can even enter the ingredients for your own recipes, and it will calculate all the calorie and nutrient details per serving. These are just a few features of this awesome program; I will get into more detail in the next two episodes of this series.
Like so many other aspects of weight loss, I had ridden the food tracking merry-go-round many times. I would commit to keeping a food journal, determined to write down every single thing I ate. I would stick with it for a few days, a few weeks, maybe even a few months. But eventually I grew weary of keeping up with it, and yet another journal bit the dust. Every time.